Oblivious to the Irony

Predatore the Death Knight rides atop his ghastly steed. There is no emotion in his glowing blue eyes nor in his empty soul. Every ounce of this being is defined by the destruction that he deals; the carnage that he brings. He gallops across an empty field. His next victims are taking the last breaths of their lives. They just don’t know it yet. Everything in his field of view narrows to throbbing shades of blood red as tunnel vision sets in. Nothing stands between him and his next kill except a patch of land that shrinks with every stride of his mount. He glances to the left to ensure that his murderous rampage will be a solo affair. He glances to the right and fixes his gaze on an object sparkling a few yards away. “Oooh! Purple Lotus!”  He yanks hard on the reins, bringing his steed to a screeching halt. He dismounts and hustles over to the bloom, plucks it from the earth, and carefully tucks it into his backpack. He giggles to himself as he summons his Deathcharger and thinks about the glyph he’s going to make when he mills a few more of those Purple Lotus blooms first into pigment, then into ink. A grizzly scene, right?

It’s not every day that you hear about a mass murderer who enjoyed quilting. The Associated Press rarely break stories about suicide bombers who did a little scrapbooking in their free time. Why? Because killing people en masse isn’t really conducive to crafty hobbies. But when we hear about a Death Knight Herbalist or a Warlock Tailor, we don’t bat an eye. Think about that for a second. Borne of the undead and created for destruction, the Death Knight is a killing machine by design. Yet none of us has any problem with the irony involved. Nice.

The old flower-gatherer has his Herbalism up to 300, but he got writer’s cramp and took a break from Inscription at 215. The fundamental problem with leveling both professions from the ground up is that Herbalism levels so much quicker than Inscription. Predatore can currently be found galloping about Swamp of Sorrows, searching for any plants that mill to Violet Pigment. All of these herbs have already faded to grey on the Herbalism side, but I need enough to make another 35 Celestial Ink before I can move onto the next zone. I’m getting really anxious to get Inscription up to 300 so I can resume leveling Predatore himself in Hellfire Peninsula. As it stands, Devv has been footing the bill for all of the parchment and training, but the old girl is down to about 150G. If Predatore can’t start paying the bills soon, every toon on the roster is going to be broke. Nothing like a menacing, murderous Death Knight who depends on his sugar momma to send him money so he can learn how to pick flowers and write letters.

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One Response to “Oblivious to the Irony”

  1. That is one of the best blogposts ever…the imagery in that first paragraph was so well-written … and the timing was perfect considering I spent my entire weekend mining and engineering on my own DK (and am not done yet). >.<

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